


An Invitation to Grow

by dat_heichou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, focuses on chapters 207 to 220, training camp arc, tsukki-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:04:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dat_heichou/pseuds/dat_heichou
Summary: The fact that anyone on their team is good enough to be chosen for an All-Japan training camp is astounding.  The fact that it’s the king is ultimately less so.  Everyone fawns over Kageyama and his new amazing opportunity.  Though Kei knows it’s a huge deal, he’s itching to go home.  He’s heard more than enough.But Takeda’s not done yet.  There’s another training camp just for promising Miyagi first years and he’s excited to announce, “One member from Karasuno has received an invite to the Imitation Youth Training Camp.”“Tsukishima-kun,” Takeda announces proudly.Kei can feel the instant the attention in the room turns to him.  It’s like a flood-light has been switched on and he’s trapped in the middle of it.





	An Invitation to Grow

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this this past summer for the Tsukki zine that sadly didn't work out.
> 
> I've been wanting to look at his perspective of the training camp arc for months, especially because the manga focuses so much on Hinata and Kageyama.
> 
> I'm occassionally on tumblr @ kate-writes-fluff.tumblr.com

“Have you heard that Karasuno’s boy’s volleyball is going to Nationals this year?  I can’t believe it!”

Ever since Karasuno’s underdog victory against the powerhouse Shiratorizawa, similar incredulous statements seem to follow the team wherever they go.  They created an impression that echoes in their wake.

Most of the team preen at the awe they receive, basking in the positive attention.  Even their shy ace simply blushes and smiles at the enthusiasm while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Personally, Kei has a similarly hard time believing it, even though he was there on the court himself.  He played in the game, was on the receiving end of Ushiwaka’s spikes, and received one of those spikes with his bare hands, and he _still_ can’t believe they won.  

That single, successful block made Ukai call him the game’s MVP.  Tsukishima Kei, the notorious slacker of Karasuno’s volleyball team, was the most valuable player for a single block and some strategic plays.

Honestly, he has a much harder time believing _that._ _It was only one spike,_ he tells himself as he shrugs off their classmate’s enthusiasm.  He flexes his right hand, bringing it close to his face to study it.  His jammed fingers have long since healed, but at the same time the ghost of the injury seems to tauntingly haunt him.  At least when his hand still hurt and there were visible wounds, it helped remind him that that day actually happened.

Now it all feels like a weird dream, except for the fact that Karasuno is extremely amped up for Nationals.  Their energy grows exponentially with every shocked whisper or exuberant wish of luck.

Kei feels more confused than energized.  How can _they_ be going to Nationals?  They’re just a ragtag group of crows.  Sure some of them are pretty talented and what skill others lack they make up with enthusiasm.  But honestly, Kei doesn’t consider himself either of those.  He’s just tall and _starting_ to care.  But somehow they managed to beat one of the best teams in Miyagi.

Kei tries to push back the faintest glimmer of excitement in his chest.  They have a lot of work to do before even _thinking_ of Nationals--his whole body aches at the thought.  It’s too early to get blinded by enthusiasm.  Nationals will be even harder than playing against Shiratorizawa.

Of course, his teammates are the spirit of enthusiasm personified and preparing for the Nationals in any way--even just taking new measurements for the Nationals pamphlet--seems to amp them up more than usual.

The spirit of competition leads the other first years to boast and tease, each bragging about how tall they’ve gotten in the past few months.  It’s ridiculous.  But at the same time, Kei can’t help but gloat over his impressive 190.1 cm height.  Somehow the competitiveness is too infectious to resist.  

Maybe if he hadn’t started to care about volleyball; maybe if there wasn’t so much rivalry in the air, Kei wouldn’t hate the centimeter between his and Hinata’s vertical leaps.  A few months ago, he’d be content. Now, he feels frustration prickle at his skin, even as he tries to brush it away.

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on it before Takeda-sensei runs into the gym with announcements.

The fact that anyone on their team is good enough to be chosen for an All-Japan training camp is astounding.  The fact that it’s the king is ultimately less so.  Everyone fawns over Kageyama and his new amazing opportunity.  Though Kei knows it’s a huge deal, he’s itching to go home.  He’s heard more than enough.

But Takeda’s not done yet.  There’s another training camp just for promising Miyagi first years and he’s excited to announce, “One member from Karasuno has received an invite to the Imitation Youth Training Camp.”

The room falls quiet in expectation.  Hinata, previously upset over not being selected for All-Japan, is beginning to brighten at this new prospect.  

“Tsukishima-kun,” Takeda announces proudly once he deems the suspense long enough.

Kei can feel the instant the attention in the room turns to him.  It’s like a flood-light has been switched on and he’s trapped in the middle of it.

Yamaguchi is openly ecstatic beside him and their other teammates are a mix of envious and proud, but Kei finds himself too overwhelmed to fully take in their words.  All he can think of is the fact that he’ll be alone at a training camp that’s probably full of Bokutos, Kuroos, and other equally excitable people.  Kei, just plain exhausted at the thought, can’t help but think that Hinata would probably fit in a hell of a lot more.  

Kei opens his mouth to decline but Daichi beats him to it, insisting that of course Tsukishima-kun is going; it's too much of an opportunity to miss.  Kei sends him a glare but Daichi simply gives him a smug grin in return.   _You will go and you will learn to like it,_ his eyes seem to say.

Kei somehow manages to not roll his eyes.

Later that night as they wander through Shimada Mart, he and Yamaguchi talk primarily about the king’s invitation to All-Japan rather than his own.  It’s hard to bring it up when it’s ridiculously clear just how badly the other first years would have jumped at the chance Kei has now, whereas he just wants to go home, sleep, and forget about it.  

Yamaguchi’s the one who ends up finally mentioning it, if only indirectly.  “Hinata,” he calls to their teammate, who's been dejectedly following them around the store for at least ten minutes now, “let’s just chill and enjoy house-sitting together.”  His voice is cheerful enough, but the slight on Karasuno’s normal practice bristles in Kei’s ears.  Those normal practices are the whole reason they’re going to Nationals, right?  And without them, Kei would never have been invited to Imitation Youth.  (The King, he reasons,  might still have been invited to All-Japan but that’s partially because he’s a volleyball robot, after all.)

“You say house-sitting, but it’s just practice as usual,” Kei retorts dryly.  To his relief, Yamaguchi’s smile brightens instead of finding offense in his words.  

“Yeah, you’re right.”

* * *

 

When Kei arrives at Shiratorizawa for the first day of camp, he longs for “practice as usual.”  While there’s a good number of familiar faces there, they’re all from teams they’ve played against--Aoba Jousai, Date Tech, and, of course, Shiratorizawa.  He can feel eyes from all sides as they seize up the competition, even as they’re about to spend five days working together to improve.

As they line up to greet their coaches, Kei freezes as he sees yet another familiar face.  One that should be miles away at Karasuno.  Horror overtakes him as he looks down at Hinata’s bright, optimistic face--completely oblivious to the loud whispers from the other first-years.

The murmurs around them grow increasingly louder and Kei’s blood starts to boil.  A tiny worry whispers, _What if they think I helped this idiot sneak in?_ But doubt is quickly buried by another, more overwhelming emotion.

Since he was invited, Kei has either spent his time dreading the camp or feeling guilty for being chosen when he wasn’t that great of a MVP anyway.  But now, his newly awakened pride rises up to his throat.

“What are you _thinking?!”_  He hisses, far louder than he intended.

“Well you said the security at All-Japan would be too strong to sneak into,” Hinata answers brightly, reminded Kei of a conversation he had nearly forgotten.

The fact that the shrimp is throwing his own logic--no it was a joke in the first place, it doesn’t count for _logic_ in any sense of the word-- as a justification for his idiocy pushes his frustration and confusion into fury.  

_“Idiot!!_  Did you think you could get away with this?  What were you _thinking_ , you absolute dingus?! _Moron!!”_

“Who knew he could lose his temper like that?”  Kindaichi’s poorly contained whisper makes Kei flush with embarrassment and he fights to further hold his tongue.  Luckily, Hinata gets promptly dragged away to the staff room, so Kei can calm himself.

The attention of the other first-years settles collectively on his back once Hinata is gone, whispering about the Karasuno players.

_What a promising start…_ Kei sighs to himself.  He wants to go home already.

Kei’s not sure if he’s surprised or not that Hinata is made a ball boy and not immediately kicked out.  There are times when the shrimp is just absurdly lucky, in ways no one else could ever be.  Especially in anything remotely related to volleyball.

_He’s_ supposed _to be here,_ Kei’s doubts whisper _, The sun outshines the moon, after all._

He serves the ball a little harder than he would have liked and it smacks loudly against the boundary line.

_“Out!”_ A coach yells, pointing out the glaringly obvious.

* * *

The exercises are exactly what he would expect from a prestigious camp at Shiratorizawa.  The fact that their unexpected ball boy gets yelled at more than the boys on the court gives Kei a chance to stop and catch his breath once in awhile.

No one can seem to make sense of Hinata, even the other first-years.  Rumors are still flying about the Karasuno _libero_ \--Kei snickers at the idea and doesn’t bother correcting them-- and why the coaches are so interested in him.  Somehow it escapes their notice that if the players’ hushed whispers mean anything, it's that they’re equally interested in the interloper.

By the end of the day, Kei feels like he has to give Hinata his two cents and corners him as he’s gathering up balls at the end of practice.  "Hurry up and get ready to go home already, will you.  We still have school tomorrow."

Hinata gives Kei a sheepish, tired look--it makes sense that he's worn out, considering he was fully expecting to get into the camp no problem, the idiot--and opens his mouth to apologize.  But Kei doesn't have the patience to deal with that.  He’s never been particularly patient with people, and the constant clamor of strangers has put him on edge.

"Save it for someone who cares," he grumbles.  It's relieving to finally be able to speak his mind again--he's been intentionally holding his tongue since his mortifying outburst this morning-- and it's a great feeling to finally not have to “play nice” in front of the coaches.  "Your fool-hardy, reckless antics are nothing new."  The words he chooses are intentionally harsh, possibly more so than if he hadn't had to hold his tongue all day--but then again it's nothing like Hinata will hear from captain Daichi when he gets back.  

"Try not to make a complete waste out of these precious five days," Kei finishes with a wide smirk.  He's not sure he'd consider the days precious himself, but he knows Hinata feels the overwhelming pressure to improve before Nationals.  They all feel it; it's why there are so many training camps in December.

Kei laughs to himself as Hinata storms off.  Either he's saved himself a hassle and the shrimp won't come back or--far more likely-- the little demon will come back with a vengeance.  If he helps motivate him, at least Kei released some of his own frustration in the meantime.

* * *

The second day of camp seems far longer than the first, though that's to be expected since it's the first day that they'll stay overnight at Shiratorizawa.  Knowing that now this exhausting camp will be a full day affair, Kei wants to just crawl back into his own bed at home and forget about it.

Ushiwaka and Tendou, as well as the other upperclassmen volleyball players from Shiratorizawa, come to oversee their practice.  Being judged by them, who have seen him at his best, makes Kei want to quit even more.  He unintentionally raised the standards for himself and now this whole camp is proof.  He only blocked one of Ushiwaka's spikes and he knows there's no way he'll manage any more this week.  

Much like their coaches, the senpais are far more fixated on the new ball boy than they are on Kei, or any of the other students that were actually invited for that matter.  That's fine by him though, because the last thing he needs is to be harassed by Tendou.  He doesn't need another embarrassing outburst in front of these other teams.

He values being able to spend quiet time to himself, after all.  If he becomes too approachable, they'll gang up on him like Kuroo and Bokuto did and he knows he'll never get any rest.  His playing skills might improve, but his temper and energy level sure won't.

The minute official practice ends, Kei grabs his phone and takes long strides away from the court.  Like hell is he letting himself get suckered into extra practice, especially this early into the training camp.  Once he sets a precedent, he'll never be able to excuse himself again.  He unlocks his phone to find intermittent messages from his best friend about what he's missed so far at Karasuno.  Ordinarily he would roll his eyes and say that he doesn't care about what Nishinoya and Tanaka have done today to try to impress Kiyoko-senpai or the advice Daichi and Sugawara have for him about which aspects of camp to not miss out on.  But with his back turned to his peers, he feels comfortable enough to let himself smile at the predictable antics.  The texts provide a taste of the familiar, a comfort in an unfamiliar place.

He sends Yamaguchi back the highlights of his day--not what he particularly sees as highlights, but what he knows his best friend would be most curious about.  "Practice match against Ushiwaka.  We lost of course."  But he closes his messages and switches over to his music player without waiting for a response.  Considering the time, Yamaguchi is probably hard at work with Shimada on some extra practice of his own--a work ethic that certainly fits in with Kei's peers at camp.

Kei, however, is more than content to lean back in the solitary corner he's managed to find.  He stretches his legs out and closes his eyes as he slides his headphones over his ears.  He lets his music relax him and help him prepare for dinner.  That's sure to be an ordeal in itself.

* * *

 

Kei dearly misses his bed that night.  The first-years are roomed in an empty classroom with thin futons and little personal space.  Half of them snore and the ones that don't are equally noisy, tossing and turning as they try to get comfortable.

Kei himself lies on his back, his stomach uncomfortably full from dinner.  They kept giving him judging looks when he said he was done, eyeing the extra half a portion left on his plate.  Of course, they just gave him an extra helping when he tried to excuse himself, though Konagawa did help steal a few spoonfuls of the extra rice on his plate.

They have a few minutes left before official lights out and Kei pulls out his phone to get a final peek.

Yamaguchi has texted him a chipper, "Good night Tsukki!!  Let's both work hard tomorrow!!"  Kei would rather not think about the fact that he has to do it all again tomorrow, but his best friend probably knows that. The differences in their personal work ethics are nothing new.

A little more surprising is the text from Akiteru.  "Night Kei!!  Tadashi told me it's your first night away at that first-year camp.  Good luck!  Mom and I are so proud!  Hope you're not homesick."

“I am not homesick,” Kei texts back as he rolls over to try and get more comfortable.  Despite his words, the walls seem tall and the shadows that fall against them are distorted and unrecognizable.  He makes a point to text them both, as well as his mother, a simple goodnight--adding a short "thanks" at the end.

* * *

Kei does manage to slowly adjust over the next few days.  He slacks off when he can--which is becoming less and less once the coaches manage to find his limits--and begrudgingly pushes himself when he can't afford not to.  He's not tall here, for the first time he can remember he's strikingly average.  One player--he thinks his name is Hyakuzawa--is nearly two meters tall.  The playing field has been leveled and he finds himself struggling.

It's humbling, certainly.  He sends Yamaguchi a simple "I feel short here" text one day during break.  He hopes his friend knows what he means.

Meanwhile, Hinata remains a ghost on the periphery, watching their every move as he catches balls that fall out-of-bounds, refills their water bottles, and washes their practice jerseys.  Everyone seems a little unnerved by his scrutiny.  There are times when his attention seems even more intense than the coaches, as though he’s mentally stripping each of them apart and putting them back together.

“Honestly if he payed half as much attention in class, maybe he wouldn't be such a lost cause to tutor,” he texts Yamaguchi.  The fact that Hinata has to bike himself home every night and bike himself there at the crack of dawn every morning only seems to further motivate him.  

_He’s not human_ , Kei thinks sometimes, but then again there are others at the camp, like Goshiki, who seem to be the same kind of ridiculous volleyball-minded creature.

Every time the shrimp's eagle eyes brush against him, the hair on the back of Kei's neck stands on end.  “When he glares at me like that, it makes me feel like I actually have to try," he grumbles to himself.

Even with as many breaks as he can manage, by the end of the day all of his muscles ache.  Just watching the other first-years organize their own extra practices makes him want to collapse on his futon, which looks increasingly more inviting every day.    

He unlocks his phone to find no new messages.  He knows that his teammates are working just as hard as he is by how brief and intermittent Yamaguchi's texts have become.  

The last he's heard from Karasuno is when he asked Yamaguchi how their practice game against Tokonami went--he's actually very curious about it, when he stops to think about how much the team dynamic revolves around the freak-duo sometimes.  And he makes a difference, too, he guesses.  It would probably be harder to win without your tallest blocker, though he doesn’t bring much else to the game.

Yamaguchi's only response was, "We're getting pretty good at flying falls, at least."

With the amount of losses he’s experienced these past few days, he understands the sentiment.  The only good thing is, at least the punishment exercises are more varied here.  He only does flying falls after every third loss.

Kei's ready to put his headphones on and find his quiet corner back, but he can't bring himself to do it.  While Kunumi also tends to skip on extra practice, Kindaichi occasionally convinces him to stick around for a few practice games.  Kei is really the only person who hasn't put in the extra effort, the only person avidly avoiding creating friendships with the other players.

Hinata is only the ball boy, he should be playing on the court back at Karasuno.  And yet, he's throwing himself head-first into learning the only way he can here, by creepily watching their every move.

How pathetic would it be if Hinata gets more out of this training camp than the guy actually invited.

_"What more do you need than pride?"_

_"When you win, only then do you really start to love volleyball."_

Kei's not used to having pride in being an athlete... it's still new and fragile, ready to break the minute he decides even his minimal effort isn't paying off.  But that pride is still there, begging him to step up.

"Hinata, can you go somewhere with me?"

The shrimp has the gall to do a double-take at the question, rubbing salt in the wound.  Well, it's true Kei wouldn't say anything if there was anyone else he could ask... but while he hasn't actively burned any bridges with the other first-years, he also hasn't made any connections in the first place.  

Hinata will have to be his bridge.

"Blocking practice.  If it's during free practice, it's not out of line to do activities outside of the ball boy role, correct?"

Hinata’s face glows with a blinding enthusiasm that makes Kei squint.  Frustratingly, the shrimp has learned enough about him to know what he's not saying.  Hinata runs to the nearest court with his fist raised in victory as he calls, "Tsukki will be joining you guys!"

It's weird to hear that nickname in person again but he doesn't have time to say anything about it before the first-years on the court began organizing a game.  They’re certainly surprised, but eager to work him in.

Once they get started, Kei finds himself caught up in the game, his brain working overtime to strategize and observe the other players on the court.  He bites his lip as he realizes he's the lowest blocker on their side of the court, even though they're all around the same height.

_I really have been slacking, haven’t I?_ He wonders.

As the game goes on, something in Kei lets him relax.  Not having the coaches watching them is actually a huge relief and he can chide Koganegawa without shame, starting to feel comfortable again.  Just the same, he can see the differences in instinctual skill and the learned practice he’s had.  Neither Koganegawa nor Hinata have been playing volleyball with a team for very long.  Natural talent gives them plenty to shape into skill.

It's just long years of volleyball club that lets Kei see how they all work together.

Still, trying to keep up is starting to be… almost fun.  The kids with natural talent haven’t managed to completely beat him yet.

"Here I come!" Hinata cheers as they all prepare for a new serve.  Kei can't help but smirk.

_It's not like I'm not putting up a fight._

* * *

Towards the end of camp, the two-on-two games start.  And they're _hell_.  Having to do 50% of the work means that slacking off is near to impossible--you have to be decent at all of the roles on the team.

Kei's used to blocking.  Tossing is out of his comfort zone, something he normally leaves to the setters.

Goshiki's serious attitude toward the game--honestly he reminds Kei a lot of the king when he's stuck on the court with him--is exhausting during these two-on-two games.  Out of all the people Kei's had to work with, he's the one that is the least afraid of telling Kei exactly the problems he's having.  If you're on a team with Ushiwaka, well then of course you wouldn't be scared of anyone else.

"Too low!!  That toss!! Sloppy!!"  If it wasn't directed at him, then Kei would have laughed at Goshiki's short, biting phrases.  But at the moment all he can do is give a hasty apology and do his best to keep up.

The next overhand toss Kei manages is passable, something Goshiki doesn't criticize as he smacks it down on the other side of the net, winning their match.  Maybe it's due to the harsh honesty, but they do somehow manage to work well together.  They manage to win at least, which is more than Kei was expecting.

As satisfying as hearing Hinata’s "Nice toss" that he forces out between his teeth, Kei knows it could have been better though.  If Goshiki wasn't as confident in his spike as he was, then they wouldn't have won at all.

"It wasn't really that great of a toss," he mutters.  It's something he has to add to the ever-growing list of things to improve on.

Sometimes he wishes he started to care long before Nationals was ever on the horizon.  

It's the last day of camp and he doesn't have much time left to learn.

* * *

They wrap up the training camp with another practice match against Ushiwaka and the rest of the Shiratorizawa upperclassmen.  Even after five days of intensive training, they’re no match for them.  Honestly, Kei has a whole lot more respect for his own team for beating Shiratorizawa at all.

The day he had looked forward to for days is finally here, but as they gather for the train it's surprisingly bittersweet.

More first-years give him fond goodbyes and wish him luck for Nationals than he ever would have expected.  Even Aoba Jousai’s Kunimi and Kindaichi give him a brief “good luck” before they leave, though he knows they’re still at least a little bitter that they’re not going to Nationals instead.

Kei slips his headphones on to wait for his train, sure the goodbyes are over, when Koganegawa taps him on the shoulder.

“Tsukki, can I get your number, too?” He asks brightly.

“Umm…  Please don’t call me that.”

“Why not?  Isn’t it what your friends call you?”

“I... guess.”  Maybe it’s because the week has worn him down and he’s tired, but Kei can’t find a solid argument as to why not.  He sends him his number and Koganegawa cheerfully waves goodbye.

The new contact in his phone reminds Kei of how far he’s come in just a week.

* * *

Returning to Karasuno for practice the next morning is like returning home.  On the walk to school, Yamaguchi asks eagerly about all the details of Shiratorizawa’s training camp, asking with bright eyes about what training with powerhouse coaches is like.  When Kei opens his mouth to talk about it, it feels as though he’s talking about a distant dream, rather than just the past few days.

They don’t even open the gym door before they hear the idiot duo bickering.

“They have five days to make up for, I guess,” Kei quips, making his best friend snicker into the palm of his hand.

In just five days, it seems like their other teammates have missed him too.  Sugawara reaches up to ruffle Kei’s hair, asking if he’s grown while he was away.  Asahi and Daichi simply laugh behind them, telling Sugawara to give their underclassmen room to breathe.

In some ways it feels like he’s never left, but as practice starts he can see the visible improvements his team has been working on while he was away.  While their teammates are busy gawking at Hinata’s absurd new reflexes, Kei is busy studying the newfound accuracy of the rest of the team’s serves.

They’ve certainly been working their hardest and it shows.

Gratefully, Daichi ends afternoon practice early that night, giving them a little time to recover from the intense past five days.  Kei doesn't need to be told twice, though Hinata and Kageyama try to make up for their time apart.  As they begin to walk home, he and Yamaguchi can hear Daichi bellow at the idiot duo to stop practicing and go home already.

“Karasuno is the same as always.” Yamaguchi laughs cheerfully.

“Yep,” Kei agrees, glad to be back.


End file.
